Everyone I know kept advising me to write a blog to spent time. I guess it isn’t a harm to try out what it’s all about. At this very moment, I really have no clue as to what I should write about. Maybe I should start off with my experiences that I have had for the past 22 years.
Thanks to my god sent parents, I was brought to this world during an early summer of 1986 on June 1st. Fortunate I was since the day I unbolt my minuscule eyes, to be bought up in a beautiful world where I got more than anyone could ask for. I grew up amidst strong Indian cultures and principles which I’m truly proud of. As for every child, my mother taught me ‘the golden rules’ of how to present myself as a good Indian girl to anyone and everyone. And my father, who I miss a lot, trained me with his strong ethics and morals. I remember my mother trying hard to teach me my mother-tongue whenever she got me in her hands, though she never succeeded to a great extend. My parents were and still are my entire life. Apart from them, years later I was introduced to my elder sister. We were bought up in totally two different dimensions. I guess we got acquainted initially as ‘just friends’ rather than as siblings. I never understood why we were separated. It took us years to recognize each other as bonded-sisters. During most of my upbringing, I usually felt I was my parent’s only child. And as every only child, I used to talk to myself. And that was my ever-favorite hobby and it still is. I used to always think to myself that I would never have a complete family. For 16 years, I was separated from my sister and during the rest of the years when I finally got to live with my sister, my father left for work. It’s sad but I guess that’s just the way life is. As long as we get together once in a year, it’s all right with me.
Like the two sides of a coin and like every other kid, my childhood had bad memories along with the good. More of them are the good stuff, but the bad were the worst I could get. I have learned to put the bad past behind my head but at times when they sneak in back, it stings. Luckily in recent years and hopefully for the rest of my life, I have had people around me with whom I could trust to share my thoughts that twirl inside my head.
My first school is where the very best of my early memories dwell. The 11 glorious years in the beautiful school where I’d learned to acknowledge myself in a range of aspects. The level of exposure and diversity I received developed me enormously. At a young age I was used to converse with people from all over the globe from various ethnicities. And I loved meeting up with new boys and girls my age. I was popular around the school as a great nerd. It was funny people classified me as a nerd only because I had ‘nerdy glasses’. But that never bothered me. I wanted to fetch good grades and amass the opportunities I came across. There were of course the usual kids to push and pull as well as the tight competition with politics to dominate. That didn’t bother me either even in spite of regular speech treatments to be serious from my beloved parents. It’s amazing the kind of push and pressure kids are subjected to by parents which in a way can cause the child to be resilient in their own way. And in turn results in what psychologists call ‘rebellious teenagers’. Anyway coming back to my early school days, I had my personal list of favorite teachers and subjects as every other kid. I clearly remember my first proposal way back in 4th grade which totally freaked me out. From then on I made sure I wouldn’t attach tight strings with boys. I guess it was a result from the shock I received. But now thinking of that very day, draws a smile to my face. I smile because of the innocence we were all swathe in. I truly hope that sometime in the near future I could meet up with that guy and perhaps thank him for the soft spot he had for me back then.
One of my best reminiscences was during the weekends, when my parents would take me out to the beach and I was allowed to have as many ice creams I wanted. My parents would chew on pop-corns with me in the middle (sweeping my tongue off the ice creams) and have long strolls on the coastline and later sit by one the benches and watch the tides. Another was the shopping spree at midnight and getting back home in the early mornings with tones of goodies and fresh French croissants. I admit I was pampered a lot by my parents but never spoiled.
Years rolled by, met wonderful boys and girls, build great friendships, got rugged by some, rugged a few myself, when finally it was time to bid adieu to my second home. Time had come for me to go to a new place, a new country. I was unhappy with the decision my parents made. I tired my best to get them out of it and suggested alternative decisions, but in vain. My parents had made their decision without hearing what I wanted. It was decided my father would stay back and me and my mother along with my sister would stay in our big abandoned house in the new country. From this time on, I was made to do things that I never wanted.
I moved to my new place when I was in my sweet sixteen. Wasn’t as sweet as the name goes. I hated the place the moment I came. It was as though the fortress I was incubated in all these years had crashed down. I was expected to adjust and get along with the people and surroundings like every Indian girl should. All the decisions were made and I had to abide by them at any cost. Then a day came when I joined my 2nd school which I would categorize as the 2nd phase of my life. Gladly this period of time passed off with the snap of a finger. I was in the school of two years. And I don’t have a single happy memory to preserve. I didn’t have my personal list of favorite teachers or subjects. Ironically I don’t even know what I did for those two years. I had people around me whom I couldn’t trust and to me their greatest satisfaction was to see other people’s misery. I was blown off by this impudent nature revolving around every person in the new place. Everyday was like a dark cloud that hung over me. I’d an awful lot of experiences in the two years and above all I missed my father and the great life I once had. I had lost my essence of living life.
The two years never meant anything to me. I had made a lot of new friends but a handful turned to be true. I desperately wanted to get out and be the happy girl I was. But once again I was made to stay back, this time for another four years! These four years were the 3rd phase of a new beginning. It was indeed a new fresh start because I was shifting to college and that to me was a big landmark.
My college wasn’t in any sense a college! It was more of a school with really weird rules and bizarre people in white. At the beginning I’d a notion that these four years could be worst than the previous two years. Initially, I was a loner since I turned to be one of the very few day scholars. I hated the place and used to run back home whenever I could. Another reason was that my father got home and I wanted to spend more time with him than with a bunch of strangers who never seemed to notice me. Though things weren’t good at college, I was hardly bothered since my father was finally home with us. For a very brief time, I had my complete family. I knew I was waiting for this moment for a long time. I felt so protected and thankful to god for his mercy.
Few months later my father left back for work and I was left raw to be unnoticed in college. I attained a couple of good friends by then but my desire to bump into new people went missing. I knew I’d changed and didn’t know who to blame. The first year in college was my roughest one. I got to meet new people through the few friends I knew and hence the chain grew. Things started to change when everyone slowly acknowledged me or at least my name. I was feeling better and soon had the urge to change back to who I once was. Things definitely headed for the best and I could see myself in smiles all the time. And by then I had become proficient in judging a person within a few seconds of conversation. I believe that quality helped me handle a person with ease.
The four years went off in a flash leaving behind a trail of beautiful memoirs. It’s beautiful since I found myself enjoying life after a brief downcast. Although not in complete, I have regained my essence to live with fun and smiles. I have learned and come across many experiences to be the person I am now. I have learned my lessons well and have achieved ‘self-satisfaction’. Though at times life was unfair, I believe everything happens for a reason and one has to receive the challenges with a justified mind. There’s nothing better than living your life to the extreme. I’m very excited and a little nervous to know what life holds for me in the near future but I am totally prepared to accept the dares thrown at me.
